Georges Carlin once said that religion is mind control. I couldn't agree more. Like him, I was raised a catholic and before I could utter a syllable, I got water splashed on me in some weird ritual. Later on I got slapped in the face, was made to kneel in a little box so I could receive punishment for whatever horrific sins I could recall as a 10 year old and went through their aerobics program every Sunday....Sit, stand, sing, kneel, stand, sit, sing and, at the end, sheepishly waited in line for a poor excuse of a cookie . All this because it was The Way and nobody questioned it. I won't touch on the Vatican Bank scandal or how the Catholic religion has subjugated women for the better part of it's existence. I also won't dwell on their reluctance to deal with the pedophiles in their midst, their ageless homophobic views, and I certainly won't ridicule (sorry but I just can't resist) the name Ratzinger which to me would be a great name for an extermination company. Ratzinger Pest Control....Vermin have you under their spell...? We'll send them all to Hell. All these subjects being a little too meaty for now...maybe in another blog.
My friend Georges (I call him my friend because I have felt close to his views for the last 30 years) also said that God, this invisible being in the sky, although omnipotent, somehow can't handle money. He always needs more. Uhm...! Food for thought. Case in point....The Cathos (I like the word...It's like pathos) where I come from, never paid property taxes on their churches, schools, monasteries and assorted lands while forever reaching in the sometimes shallow pockets of their poor zombie believers for the upkeep of their enormous properties. Meanwhile, the head office in Italy, was swimming in a sea of luxury. This is starting to look like your standard corporate greed is it not...? Maybe even a pyramid scheme...!
Turns out these days that, because of higher maintenance costs and dwindling attendance, the head office has decided to downsize and restructure by selling off assets. Churches and monasteries mostly, to condo developers and the like. This I understand, having done this in the past myself when in dire straights. What I don't get is, if these pious squatters never paid property taxes in the community, shouldn't some of the money from the sale go back into the community that fronted the tax bill for years and years...? More food for thought...!
Now...now, I can also be empathetic, having run a small business for years myself. So, in the hope that they can raise enough money to keep the show going and not sell out without paying back to the communities who supported them, I'm offering my humble solution.A cologne in the image of The Holy See. Eau de Benedict.
If Liz Taylor and the aptly named rapper, 50 cents, can have one, why not old Ben, the most famous unelligible bachelor in the world. If you think this is far fetched, you should know that they already sell just about everything else at the Vatican gift shop, from a Holy Father puzzle to a Sistina chapel's mouse pad ....Just take a look... you'll be surprised... http://www.vaticangift.com/
Foot note. This is important. You should also know that the Church now sells steeple space to cellphone providers for their antennas. This creates an inordinate amount of microwave concentration in the vicinity. Small children are reported to have fallen sick from this exposure while The Church denies any ill harm.
